haha. zombie-ing in progress

MONSTER HUNTING!

haha.

the year is ending!

misses. hmm.





its been a lovely/sad/funny/amazing/dope/*insert all the emotions you can think of* year. :D

a weird attempt to make life right.

well, not too bad?

im learning how to grow up. but not OLD. hahaa. im old enough.

well. looking forward to everyday!

i dunno why. perhaps is the graduation?

hello aliens.

i need rest.

my body needs rest.

my brain needs rest.

haha.

rest is for the longer road ahead.

stop making stupid choices from now on.

be mature, be sensible.

grow up.

self-control.

starting from tml!

to each and everyone of you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

lotsa love!

suddenly. someone. wow.

its amazing what the human brain is capable off.

im kinda in relief now.

i not i can't afford to be, but yea.

the mind puts your through the most amazing experience in life. and yet also, the worst.


im amazed. seriously.

fun fact, a human brain is worth more then 400 million dollars. O.O

TAKA HERE WE COME!

WOO! finally! the day has arrived.

after this performance, i need to catch up on school work.

work hard for funka.

please don't slack off now ron, its the alst stretch to freedom. FULL SPEED AHEAD!

good luck to everyone tml! :D

go out there and leave everything there, don't keep anything back except nice memories. :D

no title.

i still believe in fate.

or rather, i will just go with the flow.

forcing things to happen is just not gonna work.

so, i guess its good to take a couple of steps back.

who says stepping back means you are afraid. thats bull.

sometimes, taking the one STEP back, can let you see the entire picture so much more better.

but, im a stubborn person. its a libra's thing maybe? because nicole also very stubborn.

BUT.

im learning. :)

i just hope i can take that fateful step, to make myself a better person, a better dancer.

:)

rush, rush and rush.

i got loads of school work, scouting for costumes....





the list never ends.





i got so much on my plate right now.





i just wanna escape.





dance.





chill, and hit beautiful beaches in the brochures.





really. i yearn a life by the sea. just living out my life to the beauty of the world.





play music and dance all day.

wouldnt if be nice? :D

holidays? my foot.

im on my way to graduation.

to the next phrase of my life soon.

looking back at the condition i went through during my growing up process.

well, its pretty fucked.

but, at least i know how cruel reality is.

can't say i like it, but i learnt to live with it.

well, maybe going through all that when im single is a blessing in disguise.

so you know, my gf won't get an bf with alot of shit on their plate.

when i was young and free, i told myself i am going to devote all my time and effort on my girlfriend.

but reality smacked me in the face. made me realise, thats its not alot of ' hapily ever after' in this world.

yea, go ahead and have a good laugh at how naive i am. lol.

i can say my perspective of life changed quite drastically.

i dare to say, i went through shit that not alot of 19 years old will go through.

but right now at this current moment. the world is black.

the stars ain't shining tonight, and the moon is all covered up.

well, let me dwell in this darkness for awhile, cause i've this hunch that its not all bad.

till then, i will wait for the cow to fly over the moon, so that it can blow away the dark clouds covering it and shed some light on this poor fellow. haha.

well. till then!

homecoming.

haha. its nice to talk to people you don't normally talk with and see how the conversation can go.

interesting.


BUT , school sucks to the max of the maximum. (bite from alex gosu eng)

today super sian. PPPPP all down. SUSHI also down.

lol. someone wanna guess what i want right now? clue : hello.

hello.

relief myself of barriers.

pay no attention to distractions.

look forward, and run.

have faith and work hard ron. :)

don't let it kill your love.

see it as a chance, to cherish it even more.

takes time.

but i have all the time in the world.

so. have faith. even just a little.








good luck to the rough addicts. im cheering for you all in singapore!

school blues.

school work i piling up!

UP!

EVEN MORE!

NOPE, NOT YET!

OK, REACHING!


TING!

" u have reach 27183642918379182739864102974091273 storey of homework"

yes, its that bad.

i can already become a fortune teller and foresee my 2 weeks holiday fly away.

i should go be a fortune teller man, and charge all this shit. then no need to study and earn money.

LOL.

im just kidding. im not into fortune telling.

but i like to make predictions on interesting subjects. like "is that cup gonna fall of the table" to "am i gonna get a debarment letter today"

LOL. yes, random things like that.

but being random is good, spurs on creativity, but most of the time, stupidity. the ratio is like 1/100000000

but the good ideas are really gosu ones.

see danzation. ann came up with it randomly.

hoho. OK!

SLEEP TIME, gonna get enthu about finish work. CAUSE IM GRADUATING! HOHO. to all those reaching year 3, YOU ALL ARE OLD!

yes, YOU! :P

you touched me.

thank you. :)

just pure random.

i don't feel good now.

im desperate for sleep.

i need to get back on track for studies.

i need to start working hard in dance.

FUCKED.

can't i just do things right for once?

man, wtf am i thinking.

argh. the world is blue. damn.

my hair is growing long! lol.

hello people.

im here to blog that im starting class late tml. its STARTS AT 1 pm! wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.


and for 3 years of my poly life, i finally found IS teacher that i like. Previous lecturer are like wtf.

well, when i signed my attendance today, i realize it says tha COMMON TEST IS IN 2 WEEKS!

SCREWED!

BUT! I ONLY GOT ONE PAPER!

SO, NOT SCREWED!

haha. ok, i know its a lousy joke. but i crossed my mind so you all have to red it no matter what. lol.

well. i hope i can be like how hardworking i am in the past.

now everything is like so hectic. hate it. boo.

more free time please. or rather, more dance time. :D

and ronnie would be a half happy man. LOL.

to farid and ore: TOLD YOU IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT. dont believe. lol.

saturday.

i can't help but smile. :D

yay.

my lesson cancelled again. but im in school. damn.

time for some decent update.

don't be taken in my the title, this update is not gonna be decent.

well, i realise my studies is kinda in a mess right now, maybe its because i've been skipping classes. but, TIRED LA SIA.

im so tired at times, i just hope school will disappear. lol, maybe i should just burn one weekend away catching up schoolwork. that might help.

since COMMON TEST IS COMING. AND IM GRADUATING! YAY!

NS COMING! BOO. not the i can't take the training and shit, but it just takes 2 years of my dancing life away. DAMN.

i need to work some magic here. haha. the good news is my class starts at 9 am tomorrow! im fucked. right up in the ass.

damn. should i retake NAPFA?????

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

haha, depends. :D

well! sleep time!

boring.

boring.

the perfect word to describe my life now. boring due to overwhelming school work. and i feel like skipping classes tomorrow.

go to school just sounds so dreadful to me. i want to just break away from everything, fly to america and just dance the rest of my life away.

wishful think, i know.

but its a man's right to dream, isnt it?

haha. oh wells, i guess it depends. OFF TO BED.


WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

weird laws of nature.

haha. i like " tao yan hong lou meng " now.

im listening to it. LOL, Irwin is gonna sing this song for December perf i think. I LIKE SIAL. LEPAK.

hahaa.

well. im been slacking too FUCKING MUCH LATELY.

like seriously, too slack. i know i should not use school as execuse, because we are expected to do well in studies, before even talking about dancing. BUT DANCE OVERTOOK MY SCHOOLWORK LONG AGO.

shit, mums finds out this, im a dead man. lol.

well, like ann says, im starting to get stagnent. gotta breakthrough. need to UP the level ASAP man. so no more slacking ron. PLEASE WORK HARD YOU GUBYE.

haha. well, i need to focus. im diverting my attention into too many little things thats not gonna matter to me. lol, im still trying to find a suitable past time though. so things can be like dance, friends, studies and ' my future past time'

LOL. anyway, back to the song, theres this sentence i can relate so well.

' welcome to the republic of the rejected '

haha. GOGOGO.

i feel like typing more, but the words dun come. but theres so much to write. FUCK, just not one of the typing days i guess. -.-

random updates.

been so long since i blog. well this sem has alot of things happening.

first WOW, i did homework.
second WOW, i went more then 2 cancelled classes this semester.
third WOW, im botak now.

haha. im ending of with random things.

newSTART.

to everyone:

I PROMISE I WILL BLOG ASAP.

esp. to farid. LOL.

my com had that fuckinggggggggggggggggggg error that time, so i turned lazy. but i reformated my com. SO!

haha.

well. to apologize. I SHOW YOU ALL GOSU STUFF!

miss fiona xie wan yu.

^^

hoho. shane, i know you will visit my blog because of this. LOL.

ok, bye. :D

loosen up

loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up
loosen up


get me? lol. i hope my birthday wish can be fulfilled.

you speak funny english.

damn. i actually have 2 lessons cancelled this week. WOOOOOOO.

but, nabei got make up for it. wtf is this.

DAMN. my teacher talks with an indian accent, when he is chinese. -.-

i think he got it over the holidays.

im bored, i think i should sleep, or maybe play PSP.

NONONONONONONONO.

i should practise isolations, basics.

wait, i forgot that im in class. muahaha.

THANK YOU. I LOVE ALL OF YOU.

i can't stop smiling now.

i feel like im the most blessed kid on earth.

i really really love you guys.

im lazy to type out the rest, but i really love you guys. even just an sms, the fuzzy warmth i felt was nice. :D

alrights. have a good night everyone! :D

the time is now.

Youre my last breathe
Youre a breathe of fresh air to me
Hi, Im empty
So tell me you care for me

Youre the first thing
And the last thing on my mind
In your arms I feel
Sunshine

On a promise
A day dream yet to come
Time is upon us
Oh but the night is young

Flowers blossom
In the winter time
In your arms I feel
Sunshine

Give up yourself unto the moment
The time is now
Give up yourself unto the moment
Lets make this moment last

You may find yourself
Out on a limb for me
Could you expect it as
A part of your destiny

I give all I have
But its not enough
And my patience is shot
So Im calling your bluff

Give up yourself unto the moment
The time is now
Give up yourself unto the moment
Lets make this moment last

Give up yourself unto the moment
The time is now
Give up yourself unto the moment
Lets make this moment ... last

And we gave it time
All eyes are on the clock
But time takes too much time
Please make the waiting stop

And the atmosphere is charged.
In you I trust.
And I feel no fear as i
Do as I must.

Give up yourself unto the moment
The time is now
Give up yourself unto the moment
Lets make this moment last.

Give up yourself unto the moment
The time is now
Give up yourself unto the moment
Lets make this moment last

Tempted by fear
And I wont hesitate
The time is now
And I cant wait

Ive been empty too long
The time is now
The tender night has gone
And the time has gone
Lets make this moment last
And the night is young
The time is now.
Lets make this moment last.

Give up yourself unto the moment
The time is now
Give up yourself unto the moment
Lets make this moment ... last.

subway + cookies + pasta + mocha = a full dino.

im so full right now.

SO FULL!

FULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

lol, i wanted to blog but i got no topic.

maybe i shud tell you all, i bought PSP. lol, but i owe JJ 120 bucks. -.-

wtf is this.

DAMN. im still full.

i want to dance. really, i itching already.

i think i shud get a brain transplant. or a heart transplant. my christmas wish is please take away all my feelings. :D

im so screwed mentally. i feel like slapping myself. but im too full to do so.

lol. CHILL AR! relac one corner.

now, all i wish for is to UP DANCE!

UP AR! KI AR! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

JIA YOU RONNIE! GOGOGOGOGOGOGO!

*pops confetti( how to spell this shit?)*

SALMON-ING in a few hours time!

SALMON IS THE BEST SEAFOOD MAN.

lol.

one more thing before i end off.

the last thing i wan to be:

A FUCKING BURDEN

super boring.

im trying not to be anxious.

im trying not to slack.

im trying to be a responsible.

im trying to be a sensible.

im trying to be a mature.

im trying to be a fun.

im trying to be a understanding.

im trying to be strong.

im trying to improve.

im trying to be the best i can be.

but it seems that im not trying hard enough. damn.

sunday~~

boring sunday. i need to adjust my sleep hours like real soon. if not im dead when school starts.

PRISON BREAK SEASON 2 DAMN GOSU.

and last but not least.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ORE!

u are 25. LOL. u half-fuck clubber. all the best man. :D

wtfisthis,itsgonnabe6amandyouarestillawake, uarescrewed, ron.

practice at convention center is gonna happen in 4hours and 10 mins more.

the best part is im still awake. gosu.

i want my coming weekends to be full of rest time. note, its not HOPE, but WANT.

so yea.

theres too many things to do, but there is too little time.

my brain is overloading with a whole lot of nothing. wtf. :/

blues.

i don't feel good now. im feeling weird.

i don't even know how to explain this.

i don't know how to name this feeling, empty? thats the closest thing i can come to.

but yet, i've good friends. REAL friends. :)

so what is it i'm feeling?

someone, gimme an answer.

please.

its sucks.

i'm sorry i gotten all emo and shit.

the only defence statement i got for myself is

im only human.

review for balls of fury.

MAGGIE Q IS GORGEOUS.

man, she is pretty!

pretty like real PRETTY kind. damn.

i love maggie q man. haha.

SEE?

haha, i know im over-reacting. but u gotta give it to her, she is one pretty girl. lol. the best part is i don't even know why am i so taken away by her. haha.

guess its just one of those days you get to see girls that blow your mind. ok, random.

days go by, and still i think of you.

finally i got a days rest. i even slept 12 hours straight! undisturbed!

damn shiok.

i wanna chill for the moment. and enjoy dance like how it was back then till the end of holidays. lol.

work, dance, friends.

man, nth more i can ask for right now.

and YES! JJ! WE FINALLY GOT OUR PSP AR! GOSU!

:D

HAPPY ZHONG CHIU JIE!

miss ya! :DDD

trippin.

Ain't nobody ever prove their love when

Things were all good

And two people are smiling

Love is found way down in the trenches

When he's throwin a fit

And she is sittin there crying

We tear it up

To patch it up

Break up

To make up

The show goes round and round

And that how we get down

We go back and forth

And anyone who goes through this should know

That what i am saying is for real

Real love is meant this way

We say things that we don't mean

And that's the way love works out sometimes

He's trippin

She's trippin

And we both be trippin and

That's the way love works out sometimes

Cause when it's on it's on

And your no longer stressin'

And life teaches a lesson

That love is still a blessin

Cause when it's all said and done

Were back at square one

And that's the way love works out sometimes

What you know about screamin' yellin' cuzin' pushin', and rumblin' and arguing

Like it's 12 rounds up inside the garden

I say where the hell you going

And you say I'm getting up out of here

And I say you ain't going no where

Then I follow you down the stairs,Get in front of you and then I scream

Times like this I know you're

Still the one

And the truth is this is really love

And ooooh yeah

When I feel like going off

I brush my shoulders off

And you know...

And that's the way love works out sometimes
He's trippin
She's trippin
And we both be trippin and
That's the way love works out sometimes
Cause when it's on it's on
And your no longer stressin'
And life teaches a lesson
That love is still a blessin
Cause when it's all said and done
Were back at square one
And that's the way love works out sometimes

You wont believe it until you see it

How much you need somebody

(need somebody)

And you'll never know how far you'll go

When you love somebody

(love somebody)

Ooohooh

Sometime we say the craziest things!

We say things that we don't mean

And that's the way love works out sometimes

He's trippin

She's trippin

And we both be trippin and

That's the way love works out sometimes

Cause when it's on it's on

And your no longer stressin'

And life teaches a lesson

That love is still a blessin

Cause when it's all said and done

Were back at square one

And that's the way love works out sometimes

--------------------------------------------------------------------

not heartbroken, but i thought i should share a nice song. well, for people going through a rough time, read.

haha, maybe i lied in this post. well. anyway for life's good no matter how shitty things get.

i still don't plan to break the promise about never dropping tears.

i don't have a title today.

firstly.

CONGRATS TO NRA!

we all made it. none of us backed out, we kept at it till the end. that alone is a feat.

everyone was on point that day, everyone showed how much the grew through this.

for that alone, everyone is a winner.

we all come a long way, from gathering groups, to the ' no studio ' shit, to last-minute-hunting-costume-like-crazy.

its been a lovely experience. one that i will never forget.

everyone knows i always have stone fac when i dance. but what changed me, was a comment given by a very matured dancer.

"when you dance, don't dance for yourself, don't dance to show how good you are. its never about that. dance for each other, your teammates, to show your love for dance."

seriously, think back, i kinda lose that. i was always complaining how incapable i am, i never show appreciation to people around me who put up with all my bullshit.

but when i heard that particular sentence, i realized how shallow i am. i have almost forgotten my true purpose of dancing. from passion, its slowly became competition. im glad i got kick in the but and realize how fucked up i am.

i really want to thank alot of people. 8 steps, Ann. everyone that even bothered to comment when they see our item. because it shows they care.

dance for me now, its really from a different perspective. this is just the beginning, theres alot more to learn. but with the people around me now, i think that journey is gonna be pretty fun.

ITS ALL LOVE. :)


well, dance aside, i just come to realize, sometimes being able to accept things just makes you move on faster.

guess what.

i actually got it from the movie 'ratatouille'

i've come to accept alot of things today.

i have accepted that sucks in handling relationships of any kind.

today is one of the few days i can really feel light hearted, and smile from within. even though the truth hurts, but accepting it makes the scar smaller.

well, advice of the day for myself

Accept life as it is, and make the best out of every other moment.

haha.

tomorrow.

finals is tomorrow.

haha. don't expect much.

just having fun, cause its we are too lucky to even get into finals.

thank you 8 steps for giving such a good time. and im sorry that i fucked up quite a fair amount of times.

to farid : thanks man, for being there, reminding me of the FACE. theres just so many things ar, thanks man. appreciate it. :D

to ore : lets try a 720 locker suicide next time! ahahhaa. i like the fact that we are always reminding each other to practise and stop slacking when we see each other goofing off. haha.

to alex : thank you for being the loud speaker at times. lol, i know you gonna be good in bboying. but don't forget dance as a whole man. cause theres always sushi around.

to JJ : lol, dude, thanks for letting me stayover the other night. i seriously will get stitch it i walked home. thanks for letting me stone when we on bus. haha. :D

to bao wen : seriously, i don't mean all the 'fuck you's i said to you. LOL. but sometimes you really random. but i guess thats whats makes you, you. LOL. seriously buy shoes the correct size next time. :D

to wei jie : dude, go get yourself a girl. don't ask me why, you just got that face man. hahaa. i see one coming straight at ya. HAHA. keep it up man, its the finals already. i know attachment is tiring but get through saturday and you are good. :D

to sophan : firstly, i seriously din like you the first time i saw you, being strict and stuff. but now i appreciate how responsible you are. thanks joining 8 steps. thank you for being with us freshies, for the song, for the choreo. haha. thanks balls. :D

theres so many things that i wanna write down but i think these things are already in the heart already so i guess i will just skip it.

thanks 8 steps. lets have fun this saturday. :DD

walking away.

Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away

Sometimes some people get me wrong
When its something Ive said or done
Sometimes you feel there is no fun
Thats why you turn and run
But now I truly realise
Some people dont wanna compromise
Well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies
And well I dont wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
Not mentioning the fights
Im sorry to say lady

Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away

Well Im so tired baby
Things you say youre driving me away
Whispers in the powder room baby
Dont listen to the games they play
Girl I thought youd realiseIm not like them other guys
Cause I saw them with my own eyes
You shouldve been more wise
And well I dont wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
Not mentioning the fights Im sorry to say lady

Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away

im not hungry, but im eating.
im tired, but im not sleeping.

why am i always doing the wrong thing?

tell me.

sometimes, walking away makes everything so much easier, even though its a bad way to end things.

and sometimes, i really wanna walk away.

but why can't i do it?

huge stone of my chest.

tell me how i should feel.

well, at least dance made me smile. :D

after 2 weeks.

its 1 week to SUNTEC!

and we got alot to do! hoho.

everyone gonna be tired.

well, GO GO GO! even though its tiring, but dancing everyday is not something we can do for the rest of our lives!

so we must enjoy this time fully!

hope no one gets injured too.



but i tell you,


i am fucking tired,


but i love it. LOL.

Suntec dance 2007

GO NRA!

GO POSH BITES!

GO IN BASS!

GO ROUGH ADDICTS!

GO F-BEATX!

last but not least,

GO 8 STEPS!

win or lose, we gonna take it all with us! :D

by physicist Willy Karen:

Everything that humans can imagine, Is a possibilty in reality.


woo, love this phrase.

and i still can't believe i got it out of a comic book.

true

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me

you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm

I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
i'ts time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me?

I've waited all my life
to cross this line to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true

I've waited all my life
to cross this line to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

rolling around.

lying on my bed for 3 hours did not put me to sleep.

instead im more awake, and hungry too. -.-

WHY AM I SO WEAK!

damnit.

heartbreaks, sometime pain makes one realise his existance.

sunday blues.

i like sunday, i think because its boring.





and, i like to eat with mummy.

omg. look at the doors. fierce. the backdoor esp.

bluefriend?

Xing: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY GUYS WANNA COMMIT ADULTERY!

ron: maybe its for the excitement?

xing: OMG, ronnie! u next time confirm is adultery kia.


that got me thinking, is it really good to have a girlfriend now? i've people that become so stressed just because of they are being in a relationship.

isn't it suppose to be happy and all? where the love go?

haha, i really dunno what i wan now.

i just want to dance, for the moment.
i just want to be free from thoughts.


yet, i longed for love at times. screwed.

im yearning for a love the comes in smoothly.

GO NRA!

GO POSH BITES.

GO IN BASS.

GO ROUGH ADDICTS.

GO F-BEATX.

GO TERENCE, KEN.

JIA YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR HEATS!

HOLIDAYS

after wednesday. ronnie is officially going into holiday mood.

means,

lots of DANCING

lots of SLACKING

lots of SLEEPING

lots of FUN

and also, work. sadly, but i need the money. BUT IM NOT GIVING UP DANCE TIME FOR IT. :P

chill time.

suntec heats 1 officially over. i think 8 steps did pretty good.

but honestly, i don't think we have good enough for the finals yet. Even though i would love to be through to the finals, but there are just so many short comings that i gotta admit.


i think i did badly though.

reasons being:

1) no showmanship, i got ultimate stone face. which is a taboo for a dancer.

2) i cant control my body as well, got jelly legs in the starting part, moves not clean, accents not clear.

3) no groove and no feel.

basically, is everything don't have. man, that sounded pretty bad. ok, time to go back to basics ronnie.

thank you 8 steps for the expirience, love every moment of it.






p.s i like the dancing week, even though its tiring shit. lol

SUNTEC DANCE HEATS 2007

ITS JUST A COUPLE OF HOURS AWAY!


u guys think i will do good? haa.


wish 8 steps luck. with me luck.


:D

suntec 2007 heats

suntec competition is officially tomorrow.

im damn excited.

"we must show the confidence to get into the finals, but not expect to get to the finals."

:D

wow. i love mummy.

haha. suddenly my mum is buying me new shoes, sponsoring me costume money.


thats dope shit man.


but what touches me the most, is her reason for doing so. she says, i want me to look the best i can for my first comp.



TOTAL OWNAGE MAN!


LOVE MUM! hoho. im a happy kid. :D

suddenly, i felt...

its officially 3 more days to suntec.

man, EXCITED!

time to get pumped. i really wanna have no regrets for this first competition in my life man.

its no longer about getting to finals.

GO 8 STEPS. :D

its been so long, teach me how to love someone again?

retro.

CS is still fun.

after like 3 or 4 years.

haha. although is just about shooting the nuts out of people.

or maybe when you are bored, everything feels nice.

even biting fingernails. hoho.

i wan a new pair of shoes.

i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.
i wan a new pair of shoes.

serious man, my shoe is 99.9% GGed already. just need that 1 % to break it into so many pieces that it doesn't look like a shoe anymore.

ok, abit lame. LOL.

suntec is coming! we are not running!

....

i know that wasn't necessary. but i came across my mind man. LOL.

ok, i shall try and do my report now. later! :D

report writing kills.

ok, within the next 2 weeks, i have to fnish writing my report. which my lecturer expects a good job to be done.

yet, im slacking and finding ways to kill time other the writing the damn report. lol.

i really don't know what i wanna blog about. haha.

i wanna change blog i think.

SIAN la.

everyone! lets jia you for later performance!

SHOWMANSHIP! hoho.

good luck to everyone. :D

do THE sequence.

ok, im nearing the project's dateline.

and fortunately, its still not that bad. WOO, amazing huh?

well, dance classes gonna stop for a WHOLE FREAKING MONTH after this week, luckily we have performance practise and suntec.

if not im really gonna die man.

woot, today is a good day as i achieved what i planned to do today. WOO. :)

advice:

take your time.

i came to school just for 20mins and im dismissed.

so, what to do now?

sleep. i wanna rest so i wun slack at the studio later. lol.

why am i such a slacker. LOL.

full of dancing.

i just danced.

im gonna dance tomorrow.

im dancing now.

im dancing for the whole of this week.

YAY. im loving it.

but i really need sleep. if not im gonna get shitty health. :D

p.s ok, is this even counted as an update? MUAHAHA. :X

lets take a look at lovely people in my life.

sushi for life.
PPPPP for life.

<3

somehow, i feel blessed, through the curse of bad love, i found you guys.

talk about blessing in disguise man. hoho. :D

super tired.

i need to get my freaking rest.

really.

if not, my body is gonna break before i accomplish anything.

so, nights people.


p.s sorry yen. really din mean it. slap me if you need. =/

Generals

IM FINALLY COMPLETED CHINA MISSION 7.

man that took long enough.

ok, you guys prolly think im turning into game freak. but NO!

its just a way to relax after dancing. keeps my mind of negative thoughts.

hoho.

MEETING WITH LECTURER TML!

after that, prolly relac one corner. hoho.

this is a screwed post.

it feels like you are never going to get good.

it feels like you are fragile, getting injured over things that din affect you this much last time.

it feels like you are taking a wrong step at times.

it feels suffocating because its no longer how it is, its tied down with alot more issues. PEOPLE, for instances.

i tell myself, take a break, and you wil be fine. but i complain about breaks when i get them. worrying about being rusty.

WHY THE FUCK do i feel this way.

why cant i just love dance, and dance.

inferiority, eating me up.

im working hard, but im not believing myself.

because i ask myself, is my ' hard ' enough? or is it im just not cut out for this.

i dun want to be a burden to people. i dun wan to drag myself down also.

fuck, im one self-centered asshole.

i no longer know what im capable of doing.

things are happening so fast.

i just feel suffocated enough when i think of how late i joined dance.

i look at my friends.

i question myself, why am i going in circles? what have i been doing till now?

i got so many questions. questions with answers that i feel hard to face and live with.

im just a weakling with a bad personality. damnit.

take it from here.

Sometimes, sometimes the world gets hard

Oh na na na

I'm gonna take it from there girl

Don't you worry

I wanna be your lake, for your bay

And any problems that you have

I wanna wash 'em away

I wanna be your sky

So blue and high

And everytime you think of me

I wanna blow your mind

I wanna be your air

So sweet and fair

So when you feel that you can't breathe

Ma, I'll be there

I wanna be your answer, all the time

When you see how I put your life before mine

With no question

When all the love feels gone

And you can't carry on

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here

I wanna hold your hands

Review all your plans

I wanna make sure everyone of your dreams will stand

I wanna be your broadway show on review(Why)

So I can act out how God was when he made you

I wanna be your lighthouse when you get lost

I'll light a bright and shining path to help you across

I wanna be your mother, wait

See what I see

And when you see that can't nobody hold you like me

Cause I love you

When all the love feels gone

And you can't carry on

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here(Take it from here, baby)

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime

Don't worry, girl (no no)

I'ma take it from here

And when there's no one there to hold

And you realize the world is cold

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here

That's what I'm gonna do

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime(Don't you worry, baby girl, baby girl)

Don't worry, girl(Baby girl)

I'ma take it from here(I'll take you whereever you want)

Give me one reason why we should not be leaving

This world is so deceiving, the time is now

Let's fly away speeding

Through the Garden of Eden

Where all the sweet breathing of love surrounds

When all the love feels gone

And you can't carry on

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime

Don't worry, girl (no no)I'ma take it from here

Give me one reason

Why we should not be leaving

This world is so deceiving

The time is now

Lets fly away speeding(We'll fly away)

Through the Garden of Eden

Where all the sweet and breathing

Of love surrounds(Lets get away)

When all the love feels gone

And you can't carry on

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here(I got somethin' I wanna tell ya baby)

Love ain't always the way they write in books(No, no)

See there's the good guys

And also heartbreak crooks

Your hearts the real book

Just take a look inside

'Cause it's a colorful illustrated guide

So there you go

Don't worry

I'll be the one

To help you weather the storm

I'll be there mami

No matter what time

No matter what place

You can always count on me

I'll take it from here

stay home day.

haha. i slept at 8am today. then, i woke up at 3.17. because i dream of a gigantic SUBWAY sandwich.



a sandwich the size of Optimus Prime.


man. talk about cravings. haha.

tranformers.

yea, finished the perf ytd. GOOD JOB PEOPLE.

i know we still have too much to work on, but i dare say its a good effort at least. hoho.

personally, i failed to reach what i expect for myself. =/

after that was TRANSFORMERS! omg, thats dope shit man. i think the artist spend like 20 hours doing the CG and stuff. the graphics is insane man.

plus theres a hot chick, but alex doubt she is 100% real. LOL.

tip of the day :

eat apples and pao chi pills if you got the runs. if doesnt work, hope that victoria is taking mc and she told the doc she got diarehhia. diareia. DIE-RE-YER. screw the spelling man.



p.s: i just realize i have been spelling breakfast wrongly for the past 18 years of my life. MUAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

genius man. :D

weird change.

infront of me, is a bunch of people playing UNO.

and, im doing PROJECT.

DO YOU KNOW HOW SERIOUS THAT IS!

I, RONNIE. DOING PROJECT. wtf man. gayness. the best part is im actually enthu about it and wan to do a good job and shit.

maybe, this is how i take break off dance. everyone gets tired of dance at some point of time. and suddenly something you dislike so much in your life can suddenly be your favorite past time.

haha. but, i still love dance. maybe im just so tired, im blaming dance for it. =/

i think i concluded why i like to do project already.

maybe its because i just installed office 2007 and everything looks cool and i suddenly feel that my laptop and been injected with new life. when actually the scratches are still there, and still a fugly laptop im using. HAHA.

i know this is random, but this is me. ai seh.

quote of the night :

" wear your knee support and chiong! "

:)

finally, the rain.

lol. pls let me finsih my project in time. so i can keep on dancing.

please be hardowrking ronnie. dun screw urself up.

HOHO.

status : 80% recovered.

YEA!

day well spend.

yesterday. I danced from 10 till 4.

YAY. ultimate nice day. i don't feel tired at all until the end of the day.

but today, my whole body aching. -.-

6 weeks till the end of my PROJECT!

time to bring of the nerdy ronnie and ACE THE PROJECT.

ai seh. talk like good lidat.

OKAY! off to do work then. :D

to eve:

i know you are a strong girl, and i have to be strong too.

but seeing you go like that, it still pains me to have be seperated from a friend.

thank you for letting me have a friend like you.

thank you for calling me to practise after dance classes with you.

thank you for pushing me, making me do stretching with you.

thank you for showing me how to do turnings.

thank you for showing me the thing i thought i nv could have done.

thank you for stealing my green tea and drink.

thank you for letting me piggy back you.

thank you for calling me to morning call you.

thank you for inviting me to your birthday party last year.

thank you for letting me throw you into the pool at your party too.

thank you for all the cab rides we took.

thank you for singing with me at the KTV

thank you for all the jokes we shared.

thank you for shouting across the canteen to tell me you have reached.

thank you for cracking my back for me.

thank you for all the heart to heart talks.

thank you for dancing with me in danzation.

thank you for being my first ' wife '

thank you for having faith in me when i lost mine.

thank you eve.

im counting down to the number of days till you come back.

i miss you. :D

<3

untitled

back to dance.

disappointment.

its been 13 months of dancing.

i had so much time to train.

still. im walking on the spot.

going nowhere.

zero groove.

zero technique.

zero feel.

and i still dare to call myself a " dancer "

im no where near it, nor will i be in the near future.

dun fucking blame your back problem ronnie.

dun blame it on your 6 week break.

you got only yourself to blame.

and you know the only solution.

take it or leave it.

damned.

cool breadfast. haa

ytd was DOPENESS. WCOWCOWCOWCOWCOWCO!


they all are too insane already. too good. really too damn good.

i took picture with only 7 of them! where did bon go. :(

yokoi is really insipriring. so is the rest of them.

and i got the best sit for the concert! thats what terence said. lol.

spend the night outside, watched the men in white.

its either the director has no talent, or i am a sucker for jokes.

but anyway, heres the most interesting part of this blog post.

*weijie and me discussing what to eat*

Mac auntie : hey guys, what would like yea?

weijie *abit shocked* : eh, ron, you order first.

me *also abit shocked* : oh ok, auntie, i wan a hotcakes with sausage meal, change my drink to a big ice milo. thanks.

Mac auntie : oh yea, so your order is hotcakes with sausage meal drink cahnge to ice milo yea?

me : erm, ya.

Mac auntie : oh yea, what would you like sir? yea?

weijie : do you have student meal for this?

Mac auntie : yea yea.

Weijie : can i have a student meal, change my

Mac auntie : oh yea. yea. yea.

*Weijie trying to control his laughter and straing at me*

Weijie : change my drink to a big ice milo. thanks

*auntie goes and take out items*

me : oh YEA weijie, the auntie so yea yea man.

Weijie : the auntie abit weird.

*auntie comes back*

Me : can i have some gralic chilli, pepper, and jam?

Mac auntie : YEA, of course. how many packs you like? yea. yea.

Me: just a few will do. thanks.

*walks off*

MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA. the auntie keep yea-ing. looks like she is desperate of air or something. -.-

if you din laugh at this, probably its because i din laugh at her too.

..........................................................

laugh out loud

was looking thru DANZATION pictures.

i found this pic by chance.

WOO. quite cool eh. LOL.

that aside, i still dunno why am i up at this hour when im suppose to sleep!

tml is gonna be slack day too! hoho. so fast my one week break is ending. man. that suck.

TBG coming up! WCO! NRA! OSCHOOL!

its going to be insane man. can't wait. :D

objective for now.

quick update!

1st: to recover my back

2nd: DANCE

3rd: get a part time job

4th: do good for my project.


ok, i pretty much have broken down my upcoming task to be done.

hoho. good luck to people having exams!

nth much to blog about. but im loving life now! hoho. hope people around me can be happy too. :D

COMMON TEST SUCKS

even though im not taking it.

EVERYONE IS STUDYING.

but im slacking.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

this is going to be week full of slacking. LOL.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me recover FAST.

because,

I WANT TO DANCE.

hohoho.

random saturday post

random post.


RANDOM



im gonna have 1 week break! YAY.

but, all my friends are have exams. wtf. maybe i can meet up with zhou-gong more, play chess with him. helps back recovery. HOHO.

ok. IM OFF!

did you know?

i got handsome and beautiful friends. lol.

good to be able to believe

have faith.

thats the start of any task that one has to be successful in.

because if you lose faith, u lose hope along with it. and the drive.

so, do you still have faith?

doesnt matter how talented one can be.

just needs hardwork!

ok. all this im just saying to myself. sorry for being random. :X

REJUVENATION in progress.

alot of things. they happen, making us to regret. i regretted quite alot of times. even the smallest of things. because sometime im too lazy to think of consequences.

even if i do think of consequences, i always self-comfort to lighten the guilt. i always like to say " IF ONLY I KNOW "

but imagine, if you could predict the future. do i really wanna be able to do that?

what if i see a future thats cold and harsh.

fuck. this is random.

but, i nv regretted about dance. about PPPPP. about friends. about relationships. Even though i may have pass by chances that may change may life.

but im still happy with everyone around. and you. :)

mcdonald cups rot fast.

WE ARE DETERMINDED TO SAVE MONEY.

WE SHALL SPEND WISELY EVERYDAY.

because, im freaking broke. LOL.


ok, not freaking broke, but i really need to save up for rainy days.

having 0 amount of backup money sucks.


HOHOHOHO, i feel the uncle side of me is emerging.

maybe is due to my fuck-noob face in photos. haha.

i need caffine, and shaker fries.

im drinking coffee now. but everybody is sleeping.

the fan is blowing at me now.

im thinking about whether should i take MC tml.

but i keep thinking of ' Like i love you ' music video.

and also, KABA modern's choreo.

i need to work hard please.

and i cant remember the last time i teared. =\

R - E - S -T

that is what i need to do.

MAJOR REST TIME.

haha. panel assessment 2 was good, so i am 8 weeks away from liberation of 8.30-5!

cool shit.

but on the other side,

i already skipped dance for 3 weeks. all i could do is sit there and watch. but it is this kind of things that make you realise how much you like dance.

at least to me, thats how it feels.

learn to love dance. ENJOY, not endure. :D

now.

LOVE - no
DANCE - yes


the day started bad. hope it doesnt gets screwed by the end of it.

tired. zzz.

BIG SMILE?

wasted my saturday away.

fucking wasted.

for today:

music has lost its beauty.

food has lost its taste.

air feels heavy and cold.

feelings are only left with nothing but melancholy.

home has lost its warmth.

sun has lost its shine.

everything has lost what they originally had.

i wanna destroy my world.

so that i can start rebuilding.

piece by piece.

please kill my world. the world i hate living in.

please.

please.

because i really want to have a big big smile.

its used to be simple.

it was out of love.

now, its no longer that simple.

its tied down by so many things.

so many issues surfaced.

because we are no longer who we are originally.

we longed for things to happen, but we dread putting in effort.

we got our heads in the clouds.

i ask myself, why.

i wanna get my head out of the clouds.

back to the ground, where its safe.

back to the past.

enjoying every moment of it.

is it possible...

woo. bone cracking nice.

crack.
CRACK.

CRACKKKKKKKKKKK.

CRACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

CRACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

ahhhhhhhhhh~

thats how i ' cured ' my back. haha. 2 days?

its nice to see people fall in love.

but love is a screwed game that everyone is playing it.

jia you to whoever is finding your partners.

lol, this is fucking random. :D

sunday

slacking all day long.


I LOVE MUMMY.

not because its mother's day today.

but because she really amazes me.

she too dope already.

<3

true personality?

didnt know i was such a person. i dun even know how to pronouce that word. AHHAHAAHAHA.random.

p.s i wrote 'i was such a people ' and no one correct me! lol. u all eng sucks. AHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAAA.

sorry. :p

some things are just too important

it doesnt feels good to have something you love taken away from you.

even if its just for the moment.

it sucks.

WHAT?

i slept at 10pm.

but i woke up at 4.22!

why!

haha. then i fall asleep. i woke up at 6.45!

zzz.

mission impossible?

hahaa. i got new nick name. ' pimple face '

my mum calls me that. HAHA.

but, mission for me today is for me to sleep at 10pm today.

reason? because mum says im not getting enough sleep, so my back cant recover as fast, and the cause of my pimples also.

validity : 100%

but still, im not getting the rest im suppose to get. i think all humans are like that. they just dont like to do what they are told to.

so for once, i should try being a more organized person. start sleeping early, doing projects. being the average guy that i am. living life like any other boring faggots out there.

everyday go home straight after school. no more outings or late supper. just pure serious homework. no more messing around.

yea, i think i should.

im so gonna adopt this engaging lifestyle.

i promise im gonna live this way, being the hardworking faggot that im suppose to be, and rot like some wasted uncle when im old.


yes.


its all starting to make perfect sense to me.



HERE I COME MY IDEAL LIFESTYLE!


























i will do it!































when my name is not ronnie. :D

seeing and doing is different.

almost everyday, i wake up having the urge to be a better dancer.

there is so much to work on, i feel so small at times.

but, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

and even though we work hard, sometimes i cant help but have my faith falter abit.

but im damn blessed with friends around. someone told me

" never lose faith in whatever you are working hard in. there is no point in working hard for something you don't believe in. "

inspiring. for me at least.

i really intend to fulfill promises i made. to both myself and to my friends.

its hard to get such a wonderful bunch of people to dance with.

so come on!

let's dance! :D

p.s i reckon i will recover fully by friday! happy man.

feels like old times.

i just wanna say this.

to all my friends.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

i dont know why im somehow able to understand how important a friend is to me.

i really really want thank all of you for being there. same to both new and old.

to my new friends, even though we do not know each other for a damn long time or so, but you guys really touched me. i really have no regrets knowing you all. :D

to my old friends, thanks for still being there. although im occupied with my CCA and stuff, but i really still do care. anything, you can just holler at me anytime eh.



thank you for everything

NRA, sushi, 8ties, KSCB, stormers, changkat.

lovely people. :)

too much to say, too little time.

random fact:

shane's handphone took 7mins and 41.9 seconds to send a ' hey ' msg. -.-



i got alot to blog on. but i need to wake up in 5 hours time. so,



BYE! for now.

happy ROM to ann.

world view conference.

lol. the stage scared the shit out of me. 4 by 3 meters.

lotsa sundae and apple pies.

carls junior still have freaking huge servings. WOO.

sometimes, days can't end right.

but still.


happy ROM ann. :D

sleeping hours are slipping away.

man, 16 hours of sleep for 4 days is just not enough for me.

im so tired that i can feel my body screaming at me for not letting them rest.

im even getting cramps when i sleep in the IHP rooms.

suddenly time passes like so fast, i dont even have time to warm up and stretch and i have go dance straight.

dancing with a stiff body sucks. looks like jelly. no energy, no control. haha.

and to top it off, I CANT SKIP CLASSES.

screwed.

im off to enjoy my 4 hour sleep now. hope i can wake up tml. :X

auditions day.

congrats to all who made it thru the auditions!

like they can see. haha.

well, congrats on leen getting through. :D

i manage to wake up early go attend sch!

and the best part?

I DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL!

how cool is that. damn. im so tired, im tempted to skip lessons tml.

WAHAHAHA.

sunday = slackday

on saturday night, i slept at 2am.

normally, im a 12 hour sleep guy. so by right i should wake up at 2pm, still able to enjoy the day, maybe go out and chill or something.

but,

i freaking woke up at 5.13 pm. i was so bloody shocked, i sprung up and brush my teeth immediately. hoping to recover lost time.

LOL, no, that was a lie. i just woke up and ask myself was for breadfast.

my wake-up-early-and-do-project-like-enthu-kia plan is gonna start tml!

go ron! go go go! LETS GO, G, O, GO!

i just love shopping groceries with mum. :D

attendance does matters.

im 3% from failing attendance.



SHIT.
SHIT.
SHIT.
SHIT.

i need to master the art of waking up at 6 everyday!

morning call please.

a man without courage

wee hours.

im still awake.

how am i suppose to reach school at 8.30am? i dont know. i have no idea, even if i were to be in sch, the only place i would be at would be the studio. maybe the bubble tea stall too. other then that, school basically aint really that appealing.

haha.

i stayed up finish watching SYTYCD2.

its amazing to see how people live their passion, dancing whatever genres of dance, they look so happy, so natural. nth fake about it.

the lifts, the turns, the groove, and the feel. totally blow me away.

AHHHH!

lets work hard man. although we might progress slow but at least we are moving in the correct direction. :)

is this a sign for me to let go?

felt energized.

late.

breadfast.

bus ride.

meet up.

phone troubles.

losing all the numbers.

stoned.

looked at people passing by.

saw someone.

first thought.

hide.

why.

no idea.

the effort to chat up.

ended painfully.

hot weather.

bubble tea.

stoned.

stoned.

stoned.

stoned.

sign out.

felt a relief.

why.

doesnt makes sense.

way to studio.

saw you in a distance.

acted.

ignorance.

pretend.

why.

whos fault.

you?

me?

us?

sorry.

i know what to do now.

get out of your life.

you can just say.

it beats neglecting.

really.

it hurts.

because it drags.

then wounds can never heal.

it keeps bleeding.

end it?

its your call.
i just wanted to know, how you feel towards me.

missing pieces.

i have a puzzle infront of me.

for a long time, i have been trying to solve it.

trying to depict the picture that holds the key to the locked world im trying to enter.

on this day, just like any other normal day.

i found the pieces hidden in a dark corner.

i corner that i have passed by without even looking.

just because i was too insensitive.

because i was too hasty, letting the blood go into my head.

i neglected the fine details of things.

i realize how self-centered i am.

i apologise. please forgive me.

now i know why thing cant work out yet.

so, i took the pieces full or regrets, and completed the picture.






but, the picture only shows sorrow and pain.

its shows me that the world im trying to enter.

after i have seen it.

im even more sure that i want to change it.

i will be at the entrance waiting.

waiting for the permission to enter.

till then, i hope the door will not shut me out totally.

please.

feelings never came so strongly before.

what is suppose to happen, did not.

i saw this interesting news when i log in to blogger.

WE CAN BLOG IN HINDI SIA.

sia la, i mean, that guy who made typing in hindi possible is already dope enough, now blog. crazy shit man. technology really amazes, so does the power of the mind.

moving on from that. i pretty much have a boring weekend, because i was grounded for 2 days. but i felt good. guess i need to be grounded to realise how home actually feels like. but of course, home feels good.

there are really alot of different kind of people around me, even though some appear similar, but still they are not the same. but over time, i then to view similar as same, making me a damn stereotype. apologies if i offend.

some are positive, some negative. also some appears positive and the saddest part some appear negative.

well, however they might appear to be, i believe its not their fault their characters are like that. people are shaped by the enviroment. so in a way, its actually our fault, if we are included in their enviroment.

also, there are also people we cant seems to make friends with. yea, normally people think that this is bullshit. but if everybody can be friends with everybody, then why is there still conflicts right? be it big or small.

BUT, its OK for me when you cant seem to be someone's friend. its just that things cant dun work. simple as that, trying only makes it worst because trying makes you look fake.


but seriously, i dunno why am i posting something like this. maybe its cause of this is what im thinking now.

what a wierd thought. haha.

time for the last random phrase of the day!

you don't have to force your smile for anyone, its ok to just smile for yourself.

:D

friends. i can't live without them.

problem solved.

lesson learned.

for me, dont ever drag things.

for my friends, saying this isnt enough but thank you. you guys really helped alot.

for dance, finally, im able to get back to how it was, the thought of not able to dance seriously suck. i've got plenty to work on. time to train hard mr. ronnie.

much love.

just let me have a good weekend, i think thats not too much to ask for, right?

stand your ground and face the fear.

we all know, to get over a fear, we have to stand our ground and face it.

overcoming that mental barrier that has given us problems time and over again.

well, sometimes fear comes from a problem, a problem one tried to escape from, and yes, she found tranquility. until the day that exact fear snatch everything away from her again. casting a black shadow over her blue sky.

as someone who cares, sometimes one cannot overcome a fear alone, thats why i stepped in and offer my shoulder to carry her burdens.

i hope that i can end her troubles.

i want her to know, i really grew up after these 18 years.

i wanna be someone she can lean on.

im no longer the kid she chase around trying to feed a bowl of rice.

i want to be her shield aganist all the worries in this world.

all i need is her 100% trust.

i know we can pull through this. i believe it so.

i love you mum.

life goes on.

knowing 2 sides of a story helps.

if not i will just end up like my previous post. but its no point trying to hide it, because i was seriously pissed.

i guess wrong messages were brought across.

i guess you did not say things that you assume the other party will know.

sometimes even family needs assurance, and telling them that really does help.

prevents someone from going berserk and misjudge or misunderstand things.

guess i was lucky enough to be able to hear the other side of the story.

and family still exist.

but screw you, get out of our lifes.

family? yea right.

finally im able to see,

how 'close' my family is.

acting all close during gathering, but when problem arises, you all can't wait to sell each other out to save your own skin.

i HATE you all.

fucked up selfish adults.

acting allgreat, saying you are doing it for you children. then i think you should start by saying ' you are pushing your auntie to death so i can save your skin '

weird, you rather give in to a threat, then taking legal action, come on, you are a man, you cant even think straight after some lame uncle stomp into your shop and ask for money?

its illegal. its called EXTORTION. you can fucking jail him.

and you dont give him money and hope he goes away. IDIOT. even tv shows doesnt do something as stupid.

im so disappointed with all of you. you all grew up together, now you cant even have the effort to help someone you call a sister.

and you dare to be someone's father?
you dare to call yourself family?

you are all so cold blooded.

selfish prick.

burn in hell you asshole.

man, i cant believe this. DAMN.

making a choice

we all hate making choices.

because you know it means you have to give one up.

because you know you have to live with the consequences.

because you have to much on the line, so much that you dont dare to take the risk.

because its things you hold so dear.

because its not like you can rewind life, no backspacing, no second try.

and because of all the pressure, u succumb and make a rash decision.

just because you do not wanna feel the pressure.

just because you want all this to end, so you can escape from reality, and get into your own delusions of grandeur.


but, is this really the way i want to live my life?

escaping?

being someone who doesnt have what it takes to face the harsher side of life?

my answer is no.

contradiction

my head is in a mess right now.

why am i thinking of something i shouldnt be?

oh damn. this is seriously screwing up my mental health.

ARGH.

I LOVE THIS WEEK.

well, the weekends.

CONGRATS TO ROUGH ADDICTS.

you guys did your thing up there. dope. respect! haa.

well, its then followed up by Yiu's dance workshop.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

seeing him dance is like DAMN! too good. haha. total control man, no messing around. AHHHHH!

mad respect for Yiu!

well, i wanna thank jo. you really really made my day. haha, well, but i guess today was a beautiful conclusion,although theres too many should-have but im really thankful for what you told me. <3

reality bites.

there are feelings i dont wanna feel. like being jealous for an example. it sucks when you are jealous of something, it starts to activate the uglier inner self and making it surface, then you suffer GUILT. because you know u are jealous but cant help feeling that way. then when you give way, you do shitty things.

i also dont like school work, cant find the love for it. see those work that u are forced to do sucks. guess nobody likes to be forced into doing something. although alot says its FOR YOUR FUTURE. but, man, its not gonna work for me now. LOL.

well, the last one is i hate being sick.

because, sick = cannot dance. cannot do what you want, cannot eat what you want.

in short, sick = no freedom. DAMN.


out of the 3, im going thru 2 now.


my life suck.

reminded

haha. its been so long since i drew a formation of 10 over people. feels like danzation eh? haha.

its gonna be the freshies item again! haha. cool eh.

everybody is improving so fast man, in terms of groove,technique, our batch definately improved.

WEEEEEEEEE.

with wonderful people around,

i just love dance. :)


i wish that i can see your smile once more. a genuine smile. would you?
i'll wait. :)

another week passed.

normal week. nothing much happened.

but dance still damn dope. but school work suck. cause its taking up too much of my time. damn.

M.O.A.L.I.V.E

any living creature that watches this get goosebumps. damn, japanese really can dance. they got it all man, style, groove, feel..

too bad i haven seen any japanese doing lyrical hiphop man, bet its gonna be a sight. wahahaha. i think shohei or yokoi do lyrical hiphop will be dope.

aha, and maybe hanai should krump, since he so big size. can scare people.

hmm. long way to go man.

who says dance is easy? :)

a series of happenings.

things happen because of something that triggered it.

often said as cause and effect.

i have felt the effect. but, im also the cause of it.

then i guess for such a case, its called ' serves me right ' ?

wiil somebody tell me that there is gonna be a better tomorrow?

i can only laugh at my own stupidity.

IM WAITING FOR MOALIVE

DAMN. terence, i pray to got glen never forget to pass you dvd so you can burn for me MO-ALIVE.

so i can shit all over the place. clean it up, shit and clean it up and shit and...

well, i've panel discussion tml. best of luck to me. i hope all goes well. and i can get my A. WOOO. think too much.

:D

my friend

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XING!





i wish you all the best in your life and everlasting love life. :D





kick starting the week with dance is nice.





but nicer if i could look on the brighter side of life.

thanks for being there for me. i love you to bits. :) :) :)

today, i have seen the uglier side of me and i seriously dont like it. it sucks totally. im disgusting.

stay tuned people.

feelings.

jogging made me tired.

but also cleared my mind of all thoughts.

im tired.

but, finally im able to relax.

life isn't all bad and emo. guess it takes time for people to realise this.

i wish those people all the best in finding inner peace.

you know who you are. :)








good saturday.
sorry,i lied

weekends. why cant they last forever?

the weekends is here and finally some quality time.its time to live like im have a 10 year holiday break.

i've catch up on my sleeping hours, gaming,

watch HEROES.
i already skipped this week and last week's epi. anyone know where can i watch it?

gym, if im not lazy.

AND, after all the sweet things in life, i gotta prepare for panel discussion next week. which is freaking hell on monday.

....


i think there goes my weekend. BUT YOU ARE WRONG!













IM NOT SOME WEAK SISSY THAT WILL SCCUMB TO THE PRESSURE OF SCHOOL WORK. FUCK THOSE PANEL DISCUSSION PEOPLE MAN.















MOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.



but actually,just kidding. :)

maybe i shall start on my presentation slides now. LOLOL.
cold eyes, awkward atmosphere, ignorance, pretending none of us existed. if this all thats left?
bye.

life until now.

up till now, i have been doings quite a number of things for my IHP.

for example:

HARDCORE YOUTUB-ING. check out nu skool.

WARCRAFT-ING. random races. playing against AI can seriously kill time, like big time. HAHA, rhymes eh.

LISTENING to music.

busta rhymes - touch it
ne-yo - because of you
show luo - rubbish bin
mayday - yong bao
S.H.E - gei wo duo yi dian
David tao - sha tan

sneaking out to the lib for a cup of MIRACLE POTION aka. bubble tea!

or, just sleep my life away.

i think this 6 months is gonna make a difference in my life.

better or worst? leave it to fate.

i really cant bring myself to smile truthfully from the heart.

don't be stiff ron.

don't be stiff.

you can do it.

as time heal all wounds and solve all problems.

i have alot to tell you.

so much that i dunno where to start.

maybe, i should let you know one thing. never once did i get any wrong ideas from you, this means that you are doing the right thing?

and you have not given me any wrong impressions. i appreciate it, as much as it kinda hurts. but still thank you for being truthful. :)

you dont really need to feel sorry for me, because there is no definate right or wrong with issues like feelings.

the care and concern i showed, i hope you would view it as its from a friend. simple as that, please please please do not take my feelings into consideration for my actions. i know its hard, but please try.

because, i think, what we have now does not necessary need to turn into a steady relationship of any sort, i just hope for your well-being. though i failed badly trying to be part of your world. guess i will let nature take its course.

i know you cannot bring yourself to open up to anyone. i know you chose the lock-up. but, i believe that one day, just that one day, you will open up. call me stubborn, or irritating, but, i will wait for that one day to arrive, and when that day arrive, i will be there to make sure you have someone to open up to. obviously i know i am not the ideal choice, but i will able to suffice, even if its temporary.

guys out there if can find me stupid for all i care. but, seriously dont give a hoot about it.

about a year ago, my life revolved around myself, nothing else, its like a black and white painting. just the sky and the land. but since i meet you, you slowly added colors.

im sorry to say this, but much of me has being taken over by you. i know this is not something i should as a friend, and knowing you for only such a short time. but, its the truth. honest.

i know you dont have feelings for me, even a slightest bit. but its okay. because i just wanna be there, to do my part as a friend. its okay if you want me to disappear, i will. if it would lessen the burden, i promise you, i will.

i hope to go through your percious moments of life with you, but i know its not possible, for the time being, maybe its never gonna happen. but its okay. i just hope, you would have a happy life. I hope im not asking too much if i want you to view me as a normal friend now.

my brain is telling me what you are trying to bring across, but my heart isnt willing to accept the fact. im in a turmoil right now. having to chose to follow common sense or to follow feelings.

but for now i hope we can be

just friends, nothing else.

i have go so much to say, i cant end, but words arent coming.

i just wanna say im sorry for being someone like that and im sorry i cannot control my feelings.

im sorry.

who will be like me, listening to your troubles through the night.
who can love u silently like me.
worry that you have to transport home cause of work and offer to pick you up.
who will willingly wait like me.
and think that we are only friends even though we hold hands an stuff.

oh, how should i tell you,
its not like me to not able to get my head straight.
i think this is the spell that love has cast on me.
maybe to love i can offer is just so normal.
willingly be your ' rubbish bin '
you recieved flowers on your birthday,
i can only think of giving you an alarm clock,
all because im worrying that you will oversleep everyday.

but i never been so sure in my life before,
let me free you of all your sorrow and pain.

oh, how should i tell you,
its not like me to not able to get my head straight.
i think this is the spell that love has cast on me.
maybe to love i can offer is just so normal.
willingly be your ' rubbish bin '
you recieved flowers on your birthday,
i can only think of giving you an alarm clock,
all because im worrying that you will oversleep everyday.

i doesnt matter how long it takes, i will be there, waiting.
let be part of your world, enjoy the bits and pieces of life together with you.
this cruel humour,
maybe be a cold game.
but can i unravel this mystery?
cause i really wanna love you.

maybe to love i can offer is just so normal.
willingly be your ' rubbish bin '
theres no magical fairytale story nor fantasy in this,
im only afraid that you are reluctant of this love.

oh, what is it with me?
why not we take a scroll, get crazy together and maybe we will know.
the love i can give is the more simple and yet the most touching,
if only you would nod your head.

RUBBISH BIN - show

take off the mask you are wearing everyday and run towards the realm of dreams.
the pumpkin carriage midnight, and you put on your glass heels.
let me enjoy this feeling, im a proud wild rose.
Let me taste this taste that this chaotic world cannot understand.

yesterday is too near, tomorrow is still so far, why not just listen to the slience of the night.
Night breeze kisses, the Dutch floral leaf accompany me as i drink by the lakeside.
wait till you clearly see whats nice of me, the moonlight will dry the tears.
will that someone love me?
will the someone hold my hand tight?
hug me? kiss me?
oh love, dont leave me.

i hide my weariness and i show my distress.
let loose my wildness as i find my own tomorrow.
a resquest of your promise, even though it is your lie.
i need love's consoling, even if the love has already tided.

yesterday is too near, tomorrow is still so far, why not just listen to the slience of the night.
Night breeze kisses, the Dutch floral leaf accompany me as i drink by the lakeside.
wait till you clearly see whats nice of me, the moonlight will dry the tears.
will that someone love me?
will the someone hold my hand tight?
hug me? kiss me?
oh love, dont leave me.

will that someone love me?
will the someone hold my hand tight?
hug me? kiss me?
oh love, dont leave me.

will that someone love me?
will the someone hold my hand tight?
hug me? kiss me?
oh love.....

im screwed.
im screwed.
im freaking screwed.



im not up to expectations.
i do not want to disappoint.

i suck. period.


damnit.

to you:

i never felt anything like this in these 18 years.

i have been suppressing my feelings for the last 11 months

i felt utterly useless seeing u wrapped by sadness. i could not reach for you, i was scared to offer help, i am afraid of what i will lead to - further burden for you.

but seeing u in that state, i swear it couldnt hurt me more. i saw the mask that you unwillingly but finally torn off you. but, what prevented me from approaching, even i do not know why.

is it because of my assumptions?
is it because i was timid?
or maybe im just too lousy a person?

i dont know, i really dont.

there is a invisible wall that seperates us like the sea and the sky. in my eyes, you are unreachable, almost unreal. A small change in you causes a big impact on me.

am i pathetic?

tell me. im lost in a sea of emotions right now.

people say being able to love someone with all your have is a blessing, but thats also a thin line between being foolish and faithful.

you are shrouded in a thick fog that has prevented me from entering your world.

is this your answer for me?

is it that you are unwilling to accept as someone that crossed you life?

or is it that im just so insignificant that you cant even bother to care?

whatever the reason maybe,

maybe its your personality,

maybe it is my lack of understanding in you,

maybe i am the one causing you all the trouble. believe me, i meant no harm.

with feelings like this, i never expect to get anything out of it. i really just wanna treat you good, like the way you are supposed to be.

i do not need anything from you, any return of any kind.

but i would rather you to love yourself more.

i promise i will be there, whenever you need. wherever you are.

i do not require you to accept me for anything, be it even as someone that u will acknowledge.

but the one thing that i need you to know is that, you are really a very special person to me. that this feelings i have, are all genuine.

sorry if i caused you troubles of any kind.

maybe when i have the courage, i will finally be able to come clean with my feelings.

sorry.

When are you going to stop crying
As you wait for someone who isn’t going to come, closing your heart firmly
Why won’t you see me
I’m waiting for you, who is waiting for him

Move on move on
You should just stop, that person isn’t coming
Open up my heart now

Let me be the one to hold you tight
Be the one you wait for every night
I’ll take that person’s seat now, I’ll do it
I will always be right by your side
I won’t leave you like that person did

My heart that’s seeing you like this
Is hurting the same way yours is because of that person
My gaze that is watching you
Is the same as your gaze that looks at the seat that person left

Move on move on
You should just stop, that person isn’t coming
Open up my heart now

Let me be the one to hold you tight
Be the one you wait for every night
I’ll take that person’s seat now, I’ll do it
I will always be right by your side
I won’t leave you like that person did

Turn around and look at me now, give me a chance too
The scar that person left
I’ll take it upon myself, making up for it forever by your side
So give me a chance

well. life's a bitch.

this is the moral of the day.

well, no more attachment.

dance and school.

probably gonna a rejuvenating break.

not blogging anytime soon!

IM GOING FOR ATTACHMENT NEXT WEEK.

but im not really up for it.

as in, kinda suck eh, everyday 8.30 to 6.

I WANT PROJECT.

THEN CAN


DANCE

lol. attachment briefing tml. T_T

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

congrats on getting older! LOLOLOLOLOL.

man, why am i not sleeping? because im shou-sui-ing. lol, call me superstitious but i wan the best for my family so ya.

WELL, tv is surprising interesting during new year's eve. 5566 act as SHE wives, miss asian 2006. LOL show, i swear the girls there are god-damn fake. lol.

their tiara keep dropping. LOLOL, then still act classy. damn.

well, reunion dinner was fun i guess. and i saw a sight from the future, its my cousin's bald head, NS!

zzz.

well, guess its angbaos, goodies and angbaos and goodies and angbao and goodies and angbaos and goodies and angbaos and goodies and angbao and goodies.

....

ITS 6.21 AM.

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

its pronouced as ' WHAT THE ' then u drag the fuck like...
















FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK


well, BED TIME! =D
i kinda still dislike my 2 weeks holiday. T_T

EXAMS ARE OVER!

WAHAHAHAHAHAA. what a relief man. NOW IS HOLIDAYS HOLIDAYS HOLIDAYS.

well, first up is new year shopping. then, is bubble tea. LOL. TML DANCE! lol.

YAYNESS, im so happy right now, i can eat a cow.

hmmm, i use wrong way right? lol. but im year 3 now.. omg! talk about being old.

ZZZ.

still im happy!

HAPPY
HAPPY
HAPPY
HAPPY
HAPPY
HAPPY


but wait.












my holidays is only 2 weeks.







FUCK.