happy ROM to ann.

world view conference.

lol. the stage scared the shit out of me. 4 by 3 meters.

lotsa sundae and apple pies.

carls junior still have freaking huge servings. WOO.

sometimes, days can't end right.

but still.


happy ROM ann. :D

sleeping hours are slipping away.

man, 16 hours of sleep for 4 days is just not enough for me.

im so tired that i can feel my body screaming at me for not letting them rest.

im even getting cramps when i sleep in the IHP rooms.

suddenly time passes like so fast, i dont even have time to warm up and stretch and i have go dance straight.

dancing with a stiff body sucks. looks like jelly. no energy, no control. haha.

and to top it off, I CANT SKIP CLASSES.

screwed.

im off to enjoy my 4 hour sleep now. hope i can wake up tml. :X

auditions day.

congrats to all who made it thru the auditions!

like they can see. haha.

well, congrats on leen getting through. :D

i manage to wake up early go attend sch!

and the best part?

I DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL!

how cool is that. damn. im so tired, im tempted to skip lessons tml.

WAHAHAHA.

sunday = slackday

on saturday night, i slept at 2am.

normally, im a 12 hour sleep guy. so by right i should wake up at 2pm, still able to enjoy the day, maybe go out and chill or something.

but,

i freaking woke up at 5.13 pm. i was so bloody shocked, i sprung up and brush my teeth immediately. hoping to recover lost time.

LOL, no, that was a lie. i just woke up and ask myself was for breadfast.

my wake-up-early-and-do-project-like-enthu-kia plan is gonna start tml!

go ron! go go go! LETS GO, G, O, GO!

i just love shopping groceries with mum. :D

attendance does matters.

im 3% from failing attendance.



SHIT.
SHIT.
SHIT.
SHIT.

i need to master the art of waking up at 6 everyday!

morning call please.

a man without courage

wee hours.

im still awake.

how am i suppose to reach school at 8.30am? i dont know. i have no idea, even if i were to be in sch, the only place i would be at would be the studio. maybe the bubble tea stall too. other then that, school basically aint really that appealing.

haha.

i stayed up finish watching SYTYCD2.

its amazing to see how people live their passion, dancing whatever genres of dance, they look so happy, so natural. nth fake about it.

the lifts, the turns, the groove, and the feel. totally blow me away.

AHHHH!

lets work hard man. although we might progress slow but at least we are moving in the correct direction. :)

is this a sign for me to let go?

felt energized.

late.

breadfast.

bus ride.

meet up.

phone troubles.

losing all the numbers.

stoned.

looked at people passing by.

saw someone.

first thought.

hide.

why.

no idea.

the effort to chat up.

ended painfully.

hot weather.

bubble tea.

stoned.

stoned.

stoned.

stoned.

sign out.

felt a relief.

why.

doesnt makes sense.

way to studio.

saw you in a distance.

acted.

ignorance.

pretend.

why.

whos fault.

you?

me?

us?

sorry.

i know what to do now.

get out of your life.

you can just say.

it beats neglecting.

really.

it hurts.

because it drags.

then wounds can never heal.

it keeps bleeding.

end it?

its your call.
i just wanted to know, how you feel towards me.

missing pieces.

i have a puzzle infront of me.

for a long time, i have been trying to solve it.

trying to depict the picture that holds the key to the locked world im trying to enter.

on this day, just like any other normal day.

i found the pieces hidden in a dark corner.

i corner that i have passed by without even looking.

just because i was too insensitive.

because i was too hasty, letting the blood go into my head.

i neglected the fine details of things.

i realize how self-centered i am.

i apologise. please forgive me.

now i know why thing cant work out yet.

so, i took the pieces full or regrets, and completed the picture.






but, the picture only shows sorrow and pain.

its shows me that the world im trying to enter.

after i have seen it.

im even more sure that i want to change it.

i will be at the entrance waiting.

waiting for the permission to enter.

till then, i hope the door will not shut me out totally.

please.

feelings never came so strongly before.

what is suppose to happen, did not.

i saw this interesting news when i log in to blogger.

WE CAN BLOG IN HINDI SIA.

sia la, i mean, that guy who made typing in hindi possible is already dope enough, now blog. crazy shit man. technology really amazes, so does the power of the mind.

moving on from that. i pretty much have a boring weekend, because i was grounded for 2 days. but i felt good. guess i need to be grounded to realise how home actually feels like. but of course, home feels good.

there are really alot of different kind of people around me, even though some appear similar, but still they are not the same. but over time, i then to view similar as same, making me a damn stereotype. apologies if i offend.

some are positive, some negative. also some appears positive and the saddest part some appear negative.

well, however they might appear to be, i believe its not their fault their characters are like that. people are shaped by the enviroment. so in a way, its actually our fault, if we are included in their enviroment.

also, there are also people we cant seems to make friends with. yea, normally people think that this is bullshit. but if everybody can be friends with everybody, then why is there still conflicts right? be it big or small.

BUT, its OK for me when you cant seem to be someone's friend. its just that things cant dun work. simple as that, trying only makes it worst because trying makes you look fake.


but seriously, i dunno why am i posting something like this. maybe its cause of this is what im thinking now.

what a wierd thought. haha.

time for the last random phrase of the day!

you don't have to force your smile for anyone, its ok to just smile for yourself.

:D

friends. i can't live without them.

problem solved.

lesson learned.

for me, dont ever drag things.

for my friends, saying this isnt enough but thank you. you guys really helped alot.

for dance, finally, im able to get back to how it was, the thought of not able to dance seriously suck. i've got plenty to work on. time to train hard mr. ronnie.

much love.

just let me have a good weekend, i think thats not too much to ask for, right?

stand your ground and face the fear.

we all know, to get over a fear, we have to stand our ground and face it.

overcoming that mental barrier that has given us problems time and over again.

well, sometimes fear comes from a problem, a problem one tried to escape from, and yes, she found tranquility. until the day that exact fear snatch everything away from her again. casting a black shadow over her blue sky.

as someone who cares, sometimes one cannot overcome a fear alone, thats why i stepped in and offer my shoulder to carry her burdens.

i hope that i can end her troubles.

i want her to know, i really grew up after these 18 years.

i wanna be someone she can lean on.

im no longer the kid she chase around trying to feed a bowl of rice.

i want to be her shield aganist all the worries in this world.

all i need is her 100% trust.

i know we can pull through this. i believe it so.

i love you mum.

life goes on.

knowing 2 sides of a story helps.

if not i will just end up like my previous post. but its no point trying to hide it, because i was seriously pissed.

i guess wrong messages were brought across.

i guess you did not say things that you assume the other party will know.

sometimes even family needs assurance, and telling them that really does help.

prevents someone from going berserk and misjudge or misunderstand things.

guess i was lucky enough to be able to hear the other side of the story.

and family still exist.

but screw you, get out of our lifes.

family? yea right.

finally im able to see,

how 'close' my family is.

acting all close during gathering, but when problem arises, you all can't wait to sell each other out to save your own skin.

i HATE you all.

fucked up selfish adults.

acting allgreat, saying you are doing it for you children. then i think you should start by saying ' you are pushing your auntie to death so i can save your skin '

weird, you rather give in to a threat, then taking legal action, come on, you are a man, you cant even think straight after some lame uncle stomp into your shop and ask for money?

its illegal. its called EXTORTION. you can fucking jail him.

and you dont give him money and hope he goes away. IDIOT. even tv shows doesnt do something as stupid.

im so disappointed with all of you. you all grew up together, now you cant even have the effort to help someone you call a sister.

and you dare to be someone's father?
you dare to call yourself family?

you are all so cold blooded.

selfish prick.

burn in hell you asshole.

man, i cant believe this. DAMN.

making a choice

we all hate making choices.

because you know it means you have to give one up.

because you know you have to live with the consequences.

because you have to much on the line, so much that you dont dare to take the risk.

because its things you hold so dear.

because its not like you can rewind life, no backspacing, no second try.

and because of all the pressure, u succumb and make a rash decision.

just because you do not wanna feel the pressure.

just because you want all this to end, so you can escape from reality, and get into your own delusions of grandeur.


but, is this really the way i want to live my life?

escaping?

being someone who doesnt have what it takes to face the harsher side of life?

my answer is no.

contradiction

my head is in a mess right now.

why am i thinking of something i shouldnt be?

oh damn. this is seriously screwing up my mental health.

ARGH.

I LOVE THIS WEEK.

well, the weekends.

CONGRATS TO ROUGH ADDICTS.

you guys did your thing up there. dope. respect! haa.

well, its then followed up by Yiu's dance workshop.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

seeing him dance is like DAMN! too good. haha. total control man, no messing around. AHHHHH!

mad respect for Yiu!

well, i wanna thank jo. you really really made my day. haha, well, but i guess today was a beautiful conclusion,although theres too many should-have but im really thankful for what you told me. <3

reality bites.

there are feelings i dont wanna feel. like being jealous for an example. it sucks when you are jealous of something, it starts to activate the uglier inner self and making it surface, then you suffer GUILT. because you know u are jealous but cant help feeling that way. then when you give way, you do shitty things.

i also dont like school work, cant find the love for it. see those work that u are forced to do sucks. guess nobody likes to be forced into doing something. although alot says its FOR YOUR FUTURE. but, man, its not gonna work for me now. LOL.

well, the last one is i hate being sick.

because, sick = cannot dance. cannot do what you want, cannot eat what you want.

in short, sick = no freedom. DAMN.


out of the 3, im going thru 2 now.


my life suck.

reminded

haha. its been so long since i drew a formation of 10 over people. feels like danzation eh? haha.

its gonna be the freshies item again! haha. cool eh.

everybody is improving so fast man, in terms of groove,technique, our batch definately improved.

WEEEEEEEEE.

with wonderful people around,

i just love dance. :)


i wish that i can see your smile once more. a genuine smile. would you?
i'll wait. :)

another week passed.

normal week. nothing much happened.

but dance still damn dope. but school work suck. cause its taking up too much of my time. damn.

M.O.A.L.I.V.E

any living creature that watches this get goosebumps. damn, japanese really can dance. they got it all man, style, groove, feel..

too bad i haven seen any japanese doing lyrical hiphop man, bet its gonna be a sight. wahahaha. i think shohei or yokoi do lyrical hiphop will be dope.

aha, and maybe hanai should krump, since he so big size. can scare people.

hmm. long way to go man.

who says dance is easy? :)