a series of happenings.

things happen because of something that triggered it.

often said as cause and effect.

i have felt the effect. but, im also the cause of it.

then i guess for such a case, its called ' serves me right ' ?

wiil somebody tell me that there is gonna be a better tomorrow?

i can only laugh at my own stupidity.

IM WAITING FOR MOALIVE

DAMN. terence, i pray to got glen never forget to pass you dvd so you can burn for me MO-ALIVE.

so i can shit all over the place. clean it up, shit and clean it up and shit and...

well, i've panel discussion tml. best of luck to me. i hope all goes well. and i can get my A. WOOO. think too much.

:D

my friend

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XING!





i wish you all the best in your life and everlasting love life. :D





kick starting the week with dance is nice.





but nicer if i could look on the brighter side of life.

thanks for being there for me. i love you to bits. :) :) :)

today, i have seen the uglier side of me and i seriously dont like it. it sucks totally. im disgusting.

stay tuned people.

feelings.

jogging made me tired.

but also cleared my mind of all thoughts.

im tired.

but, finally im able to relax.

life isn't all bad and emo. guess it takes time for people to realise this.

i wish those people all the best in finding inner peace.

you know who you are. :)








good saturday.
sorry,i lied

weekends. why cant they last forever?

the weekends is here and finally some quality time.its time to live like im have a 10 year holiday break.

i've catch up on my sleeping hours, gaming,

watch HEROES.
i already skipped this week and last week's epi. anyone know where can i watch it?

gym, if im not lazy.

AND, after all the sweet things in life, i gotta prepare for panel discussion next week. which is freaking hell on monday.

....


i think there goes my weekend. BUT YOU ARE WRONG!













IM NOT SOME WEAK SISSY THAT WILL SCCUMB TO THE PRESSURE OF SCHOOL WORK. FUCK THOSE PANEL DISCUSSION PEOPLE MAN.















MOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.



but actually,just kidding. :)

maybe i shall start on my presentation slides now. LOLOL.
cold eyes, awkward atmosphere, ignorance, pretending none of us existed. if this all thats left?
bye.

life until now.

up till now, i have been doings quite a number of things for my IHP.

for example:

HARDCORE YOUTUB-ING. check out nu skool.

WARCRAFT-ING. random races. playing against AI can seriously kill time, like big time. HAHA, rhymes eh.

LISTENING to music.

busta rhymes - touch it
ne-yo - because of you
show luo - rubbish bin
mayday - yong bao
S.H.E - gei wo duo yi dian
David tao - sha tan

sneaking out to the lib for a cup of MIRACLE POTION aka. bubble tea!

or, just sleep my life away.

i think this 6 months is gonna make a difference in my life.

better or worst? leave it to fate.

i really cant bring myself to smile truthfully from the heart.

don't be stiff ron.

don't be stiff.

you can do it.

as time heal all wounds and solve all problems.

i have alot to tell you.

so much that i dunno where to start.

maybe, i should let you know one thing. never once did i get any wrong ideas from you, this means that you are doing the right thing?

and you have not given me any wrong impressions. i appreciate it, as much as it kinda hurts. but still thank you for being truthful. :)

you dont really need to feel sorry for me, because there is no definate right or wrong with issues like feelings.

the care and concern i showed, i hope you would view it as its from a friend. simple as that, please please please do not take my feelings into consideration for my actions. i know its hard, but please try.

because, i think, what we have now does not necessary need to turn into a steady relationship of any sort, i just hope for your well-being. though i failed badly trying to be part of your world. guess i will let nature take its course.

i know you cannot bring yourself to open up to anyone. i know you chose the lock-up. but, i believe that one day, just that one day, you will open up. call me stubborn, or irritating, but, i will wait for that one day to arrive, and when that day arrive, i will be there to make sure you have someone to open up to. obviously i know i am not the ideal choice, but i will able to suffice, even if its temporary.

guys out there if can find me stupid for all i care. but, seriously dont give a hoot about it.

about a year ago, my life revolved around myself, nothing else, its like a black and white painting. just the sky and the land. but since i meet you, you slowly added colors.

im sorry to say this, but much of me has being taken over by you. i know this is not something i should as a friend, and knowing you for only such a short time. but, its the truth. honest.

i know you dont have feelings for me, even a slightest bit. but its okay. because i just wanna be there, to do my part as a friend. its okay if you want me to disappear, i will. if it would lessen the burden, i promise you, i will.

i hope to go through your percious moments of life with you, but i know its not possible, for the time being, maybe its never gonna happen. but its okay. i just hope, you would have a happy life. I hope im not asking too much if i want you to view me as a normal friend now.

my brain is telling me what you are trying to bring across, but my heart isnt willing to accept the fact. im in a turmoil right now. having to chose to follow common sense or to follow feelings.

but for now i hope we can be

just friends, nothing else.

i have go so much to say, i cant end, but words arent coming.

i just wanna say im sorry for being someone like that and im sorry i cannot control my feelings.

im sorry.

who will be like me, listening to your troubles through the night.
who can love u silently like me.
worry that you have to transport home cause of work and offer to pick you up.
who will willingly wait like me.
and think that we are only friends even though we hold hands an stuff.

oh, how should i tell you,
its not like me to not able to get my head straight.
i think this is the spell that love has cast on me.
maybe to love i can offer is just so normal.
willingly be your ' rubbish bin '
you recieved flowers on your birthday,
i can only think of giving you an alarm clock,
all because im worrying that you will oversleep everyday.

but i never been so sure in my life before,
let me free you of all your sorrow and pain.

oh, how should i tell you,
its not like me to not able to get my head straight.
i think this is the spell that love has cast on me.
maybe to love i can offer is just so normal.
willingly be your ' rubbish bin '
you recieved flowers on your birthday,
i can only think of giving you an alarm clock,
all because im worrying that you will oversleep everyday.

i doesnt matter how long it takes, i will be there, waiting.
let be part of your world, enjoy the bits and pieces of life together with you.
this cruel humour,
maybe be a cold game.
but can i unravel this mystery?
cause i really wanna love you.

maybe to love i can offer is just so normal.
willingly be your ' rubbish bin '
theres no magical fairytale story nor fantasy in this,
im only afraid that you are reluctant of this love.

oh, what is it with me?
why not we take a scroll, get crazy together and maybe we will know.
the love i can give is the more simple and yet the most touching,
if only you would nod your head.

RUBBISH BIN - show

take off the mask you are wearing everyday and run towards the realm of dreams.
the pumpkin carriage midnight, and you put on your glass heels.
let me enjoy this feeling, im a proud wild rose.
Let me taste this taste that this chaotic world cannot understand.

yesterday is too near, tomorrow is still so far, why not just listen to the slience of the night.
Night breeze kisses, the Dutch floral leaf accompany me as i drink by the lakeside.
wait till you clearly see whats nice of me, the moonlight will dry the tears.
will that someone love me?
will the someone hold my hand tight?
hug me? kiss me?
oh love, dont leave me.

i hide my weariness and i show my distress.
let loose my wildness as i find my own tomorrow.
a resquest of your promise, even though it is your lie.
i need love's consoling, even if the love has already tided.

yesterday is too near, tomorrow is still so far, why not just listen to the slience of the night.
Night breeze kisses, the Dutch floral leaf accompany me as i drink by the lakeside.
wait till you clearly see whats nice of me, the moonlight will dry the tears.
will that someone love me?
will the someone hold my hand tight?
hug me? kiss me?
oh love, dont leave me.

will that someone love me?
will the someone hold my hand tight?
hug me? kiss me?
oh love, dont leave me.

will that someone love me?
will the someone hold my hand tight?
hug me? kiss me?
oh love.....

im screwed.
im screwed.
im freaking screwed.



im not up to expectations.
i do not want to disappoint.

i suck. period.


damnit.

to you:

i never felt anything like this in these 18 years.

i have been suppressing my feelings for the last 11 months

i felt utterly useless seeing u wrapped by sadness. i could not reach for you, i was scared to offer help, i am afraid of what i will lead to - further burden for you.

but seeing u in that state, i swear it couldnt hurt me more. i saw the mask that you unwillingly but finally torn off you. but, what prevented me from approaching, even i do not know why.

is it because of my assumptions?
is it because i was timid?
or maybe im just too lousy a person?

i dont know, i really dont.

there is a invisible wall that seperates us like the sea and the sky. in my eyes, you are unreachable, almost unreal. A small change in you causes a big impact on me.

am i pathetic?

tell me. im lost in a sea of emotions right now.

people say being able to love someone with all your have is a blessing, but thats also a thin line between being foolish and faithful.

you are shrouded in a thick fog that has prevented me from entering your world.

is this your answer for me?

is it that you are unwilling to accept as someone that crossed you life?

or is it that im just so insignificant that you cant even bother to care?

whatever the reason maybe,

maybe its your personality,

maybe it is my lack of understanding in you,

maybe i am the one causing you all the trouble. believe me, i meant no harm.

with feelings like this, i never expect to get anything out of it. i really just wanna treat you good, like the way you are supposed to be.

i do not need anything from you, any return of any kind.

but i would rather you to love yourself more.

i promise i will be there, whenever you need. wherever you are.

i do not require you to accept me for anything, be it even as someone that u will acknowledge.

but the one thing that i need you to know is that, you are really a very special person to me. that this feelings i have, are all genuine.

sorry if i caused you troubles of any kind.

maybe when i have the courage, i will finally be able to come clean with my feelings.

sorry.

When are you going to stop crying
As you wait for someone who isn’t going to come, closing your heart firmly
Why won’t you see me
I’m waiting for you, who is waiting for him

Move on move on
You should just stop, that person isn’t coming
Open up my heart now

Let me be the one to hold you tight
Be the one you wait for every night
I’ll take that person’s seat now, I’ll do it
I will always be right by your side
I won’t leave you like that person did

My heart that’s seeing you like this
Is hurting the same way yours is because of that person
My gaze that is watching you
Is the same as your gaze that looks at the seat that person left

Move on move on
You should just stop, that person isn’t coming
Open up my heart now

Let me be the one to hold you tight
Be the one you wait for every night
I’ll take that person’s seat now, I’ll do it
I will always be right by your side
I won’t leave you like that person did

Turn around and look at me now, give me a chance too
The scar that person left
I’ll take it upon myself, making up for it forever by your side
So give me a chance